read my profile
sign my guestbook
Interests: people who use words like, "hankering" and "lollygagging," Batman, knowing The Family Circus isn't funny
Expertise: rocking people's socks off, jumpkicking, singing very loudly, eating toast
Message: message meEmail: email me
I'm in the middle.
I like how the one picture they have of me actually helping a student just happens to be the only white kid in the whole class. I helped everyone that day, and that's the picture they have...also, could said white kid could possibly BE any whiter?
Why hello there online journal.
I know it's been awhile, but it's better than last time, you have to agree...
So here I am at my computer writing in my weblog, (something I've been doing for about four years now) wondering when/if the late 20's, early 30's asshole-itis will hit me. I have a theory- I think this is how most guys evolve.
1-3: I'm 3! Not much really happens here really...
4-10: Destruction/experimental phase! Squishing bugs, finding out how things work, explosions, etc.
11-16: Awkwardness! What the hell is going on?
17-24: Unsure about life! Do I want to be happy? How do I go about doing that? Where am I going? What am I doing?
25-33: Cocky asshole! I know what I want, what the hell is going on with politics- and everyone is a flippin' idiot.
I find myself getting so upset with people lately...politics is ridiculous and I just want to shake this whole country and say, "What is wrong with you?!" Some people spout beliefs that are commonly accepted and I'm just like, "What the hell?"
On the plus side I have been an awesome teacher this year. I know it's only been about 6 weeks or so, but for the first time I really feel like my kids are actually learning things as opposed to me just kind of going in there and teaching and stumbling and not knowing what I'm doing.
I've also been soaking in life more it seems...just enjoying the days that go by and not wasting it on video games or television...cleaning my apartment, grading papers...doing really cool, productive, stuff. The poetry is sitting on the backburner, but I did go out and do a bunch of readings a couple of months ago. The crowd was pretty receptive to my writing.
My poetry, along with my music, has sadly died with the robbery....
I still can't play my new bass with the intensity or fun I played my old one. My new bass just feels character-less. My computer was stolen which had all of my poetry on it...I managed to salvage some things from a flash drive and hard copies, but that's about it.
I can't believe I've been robbed AND in a horrible car accident. It just seems too awful to be true and when I really think about it, I mean really just sit down and put my mind where it was when I was laying on that cold metal table and they told me they were going to slice me open and my stomach felt like it exploded...or when I came into my apartment and it was colder than usual and there was broken glass and I couldn't believe it and I just looked around and it was all gone...all my guitars and my computer and everything....
That's it. Just fuck. Lowercased.
And ultimately, I'm better because of the car accident, not physically, but emotionally and spiritually better...ever want to really be happy? Almost die. It works, seriously. My life will always rock and that's a gift. Had to buy it with my spleen and a really long scar, though...
Being robbed just made me really scared and brought this fear into my life I was much better off without. It's made me more distrustful and scared. I'm not sure that getting robbed helped me at all.
I also thank my childhood for the great sleep I have every night. I thought about it the other day. I would take forever to fall asleep when I was a kid...two-three hours sometimes. I'd just lie awake and thionk the most scariest thoughts. Now? Maybe 5 minutes. And I have a cat that claws at my feet.
Well journal, that's enough for tonight...will write more later.
No news is good news as is usually the case. This time in my life is a good one, hence the rarity of posts. It's interesting, but the more stable, the more good, the more whole my life seems to be, the less need there is for me to post journal entries. I'm in love and things seem more stable than ever, I have a good job that pays me as much as I really need, and my apartment is great.
1. My cat, Buster is good, although not so good when he decides to wake me up in the morning by clawing my feet.
2. Arrested Development is the best show ever on television. A single episode is funnier than 99% of all movie comedies. (Be sure to watch them in a row, though or else they'll seem very weird.)
3. If you type "fishbone t-shirt fuck racism" into dogpile.com you get my website...I think I'm #11.
4. Also, if you go to the UK version of ask.com, and type "tampon insertion" my site comes up...I'm not sure exactly how to access that, though...I must be pretty far down. I find this interesting and attribute it to a very old journal entry I had about menopause and how little I knew about tampons and finding a "how to insert..." instruction manual while I was going to the bathroom.
5. I'll be going for my Masters this summer (does that have an apostrophe or no?)...in English- College professorship here I come...
6. In my quest to find awesome TV shows that are cancelled, I have come across Wonderfalls. The jury is still out on this one, but the theme somg is amazingly good.
7. I actually chuckled (a teeny bit) at last night's Saturday Night Live
1. I don't post near enough...I should still be posting, getting out my words and feelings all that good stuff.
2. Dungeons & Dragons is feeling less fulfilling than it used to...I wonder if I just need to get a certain group dynamic going.
3. Musically I am falling waaaay behind...I have tons of 80's stuff and that's what I'm listening to.
4. My internet is up and down.
5. I need to flex my creative muscles more. I really need to get on the ball and finish up some of my better poems and submit them.
6. Sometimes teaching high school makes me want to kill myself. Arrrrrrrgh!
And that's it for now...I'd like to say I'll post a little later, but I probably won't darn it...
|THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY! (Let’s see if you can get through it. If not, you're too scared about your past)|
Oh really?! Well looky here…looks like I’m not scared of my past! Of course, I was scared of the absolutely atrocious grammar skills of the person that wrote this, so I corrected it. Also, after answering these questions I have no doubt that the test was written and conceived by a thirteen-year-old girl.
-Longest romantic relationship? 2 years
-Shortest romantic relationship? 5 minutes into a date
-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? 5
-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with? Yeah…doesn’t always happen though.
-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
I actually get chest pains sometimes when my heart aches so much. Weird.
-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
-Are you happier single or in a relationship?
In a good relationship you should ALWAYS be happier than when you’re single, otherwise break up.
-Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I know of.
-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
The parts I don’t have. Girls are just all-round better people too.
-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Does a pope shit in the woods? Wait a sec…
-Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Yep. But getting your own heart broken hurts a million times more.
-Talk to any of your exes?
All of them within the past year actually. Sometimes just online, but yeah…
-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
This is such a lame question…it would be nice to be in all of my past relationships for just one week. Anything longer than that and I’d start to see the reasons we broke up in the first place…
-Think any of your exes feel the same way?
I think they would all want me back- but only for my sexual prowess. No…I think they’re better off without me in their lives. There’s a reason our relationships didn’t work.
-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I am an absolutely terrible boyfriend, but I get better with each relationship. I’m not very good about appreciating what I have until it’s not there anymore, unfortunately.
-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
Hahaha. My first girlfriend and I dumped bowls of spaghetti on each other- and NOT in a light-hearted, happy way.
-Have you dated someone older then you?
Every time but once, actually.
-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I regret not doing more with people who weren’t my girlfriend. Reminds me of a quote I heard once, “You will regret more things that you haven’t done but wanted to than things you have done and you shouldn’t have.” Good quote, eh?
-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yes. And third and fourths and fifths. After fifths it’s over, though. Sixths is hard to say.
-Believe in love at first sight?
I believe in, “Whoa, she is so cute and I wonder if she’d like me!” at first sight. Sometimes that turns into love.
-Ever dated two people at once?
-Ever been given an Engagement ring?
No. Don’t buy diamonds. Diamond mines are so corrupt. There was this picture I saw with this kid who had his legs cut off. His parents didn’t meet their diamond mining quota- so they cut their son’s legs off. The conditions are awful and the market itself is incredibly corrupt. Look into this or go to your local library- don’t ever buy a diamond engagement ring.
-Do you want to get married?
We’ll see. It can go either way.
-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
San Dimas High School football rules!
So long and thanks for all the fish!
-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, but I always returned them. HA!
Never stolen anyone else’s girl. Never liked anyone else’s girl, honestly…
-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Whoa! Did I predict this one or what? Never. I know it’s weird, but if someone is with a girl, said girl loses all interest to me.
-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
A little worse actually.
And I’m spent…another great survey completed by me at 2:30 a.m.